In 1991, at the age of 16, Somy Ali landed in Mumbai with the intention of marrying her teenage crush, Salman Khan. Cut to, a year later, not only did she meet him, but soon started dating him. The relationship ended in 1999, after which Somy returned to her home in the US and resumed her education. A few years later, she found her true calling with her organisation, No More Tears, which helps people, who are mentally or physically abused.
Even before we began our conversation, she made it clear that returning to showbiz remains completely off the charts. “My aim in reaching out, is to make people in India aware that if they are a victim of abuse, we will help you. We have flown victims from India before and have helped them lead a happy life,” she says. In a candid chat with Bombay Times, the former actress spoke about her years in Bollywood, her quest for love, and finally going back to where she belongs. Excerpts:

At 16, you came from Miami to Mumbai in pursuit of love. Looking back, does it feel like it was one of those reckless teenage acts?

It was 1991 and I was 16. I saw Maine Pyar Kiya, and I went, ‘I have to marry this guy!’ I told my mom that I am going to India tomorrow. She, of course, sent me off to my room, but I kept pleading that I have to go to India and marry this guy — Salman Khan. That night, I had a dream that I have to go marry Salman because he is going to be my saviour. Since she wouldn’t relent, I called my dad. Of course, I didn’t tell him why I wanted to visit India.

I told him that we have relatives in Mumbai and I wanted to meet them. I also told him that my biggest dream is to see the Taj Mahal, which I must admit, I haven’t seen to this day (laughs!). I was born in Pakistan and had lived there for a few years before I move to Miami, so I spent a week there, and then landed in India and checked into a five-star hotel. People used to make fun of me because I was this “struggling actor”, who was staying at a plush hotel.

Considering you had no connections in the film industry, how did you bag your first project?

You know, it all happened in such a bizarre manner. I got my portfolio done by ace photographer Gautam Rajadhyaksha, who asked me to go to certain production houses. When I went to a production house, strangely, Salman was there to meet some friends. I didn’t see him, but he saw me. They saw my pictures and called me as they were casting for a film titled
Buland (unreleased). I auditioned for it and signed the film. After that, I got more films. It started off like a fairy tale, but unfortunately, it didn’t end that way. But, I met and worked with some amazing people like Saif Ali Khan, Chunky Panday, Mithun
da, Suniel Shetty, Om Puri
ji and Jeetendra
ji. Ironically, my last film, which was with Om Puri
ji, was titled
Chupp (1997), and after that, I went completely
chup and left India (laughs).

Given that you hadn’t really groomed yourself to be an actor, neither did you harbour any aspiration to be a star till that point, how comfortable were you being on a film set?

I was every director’s nightmare and refused to go for rehearsals. I was different from others. I was too Americanised and too much of a tomboy. I was such a misfit in the film industry. I had no interest in pursuing a film career, and my only goal, which sounds preposterous at this age, was that I have to marry Salman.

What do you think didn’t work for you?

I made a lot of mistakes. Imagine at 16, I lived in a hotel alone because my father had to go back and look after his business. I was exposed to things that as a teenager, no child should be exposed to. But I learnt a lot from those experiences. I also feel that I ruined some relationships because I was misguided by someone else. Other than that, I formed some amazing relationships. Chunky was hilarious, Saif was so funny, and Suniel and I were in acting classes together. See, there are positives and negatives to everything, you take away the good things and leave behind all that is bad.

When did you decide to return to Miami?

In December of 1999, I decided to return to the US. The reason primarily was that the relationship had become very unhealthy. Keep in mind that I had dropped out of ninth grade, and had no education. I was yearning to go back and finish my education. I think that was the best decision I took, because had I not left thousands of people would not have benefitted from my organisation. Once I returned to Miami, I got a bachelor’s degree in psychology. I have a certificate as a victim advocate, so I am trained to work with people who have faced abuse. I also have a master’s degree in broadcast journalism.

Initially, what drove you to contribute to this field of social work?

I grew up in a home (in Pakistan), where I witnessed domestic violence. I have no qualms about admitting that a house help sexually abused me from the age of five to nine. Then, when I moved to the US at 11, I was a victim of rape, and later, domestic violence, too. For me, it was like taking all the bad that I had endured and building something good out of it, in the form of this organisation. See, you can be sorry for yourself, or make sure that whatever happened to you doesn’t happen to others.

Tell us about your life in Miami.

Most of my time is dedicated to my organisation. I often do media interactions because I am a human trafficking expert and domestic violence expert. Also, I work with various police departments to rescue people. I have had experiences like death threats, a gun held to my head, but my thought is that if I am meant to go doing this work, then that’s my destiny.

As per reports, there was a spike in domestic abuse incidents globally during the pandemic. Did that change a lot for you in your area of work, too?

Since the pandemic began we have rescued, housed, given jobs to and provided education to over 192 men, women and children. We also work with human trafficking victims and children who have faced physical and sexual abuse.

Salman, too, has his organisation, which helps those in need. Have you two been in touch?

No, I haven’t spoken to Salman in many years, and I think that’s the best way to go about things. When people come into our life, we learn from them — what we should do and what we shouldn’t. And there’s a time when you should move on. However, I respect him for his foundation, and I have heard that they do phenomenal work. I did meet his mom, Salma aunty, who is among my favourite people in this world, when she was in Miami two years ago. It was wonderful to catch up with her.

Do you ever watch the films that you acted in?

Why would I do that? I highly advise others not to watch them either (laughs!). On second thoughts, you could watch them if you are drinking wine, because then, they may seem funny.

So, making a comeback to acting is definitely not on the cards?

Bachpan mein nahi kar saki toh ab kya hoga? I have no interest in acting, but I will be facing the camera for a US-based network that will be filming a docu-series about the rescues that we carry out.

Do you miss the vibe of Mumbai?

I miss the
pani puri and
pav bhaji there. I miss having five people helping me at home. Now, when I look back, I wonder why did I need those many people? I miss certain people, too. There were some who were very good to me and some who were awful, but I wish them all well. In my 40s, as a mature woman, I have taught myself to forgive the people that hurt me. I would love to come to India, and I promise you that when I come down this time, I will actually go see the Taj Mahal.

As someone who relocated to another country to find love at 16, have you found love?

I am happily married to my organisation (
laughs). When you look for love, it doesn’t come your way. I don’t want to have children now, but I did when I was in India. Back then, I wanted to get married and have five children, but now in my 40s, I don’t. If love comes my way and if it’s someone who has a similar mindset, I would definitely take that initiative, but I haven’t found anyone like that yet.